A RIVER IN EGYPT

Well, I cheated. Instead of running down the six flights of stairs to my fallout shelter yesterday, I listened to that little voice that has been talking to me since I can remember. You know the one. It said,"Fool! You want to be part of the exercise? Take the elevator down five minutes before the siren goes off!"

Brilliant!!! Such a smart little voice I have. And that is exactly what I did. I took the elevator down and waited for the rest of my neighbours to join me in the shelter.

A few showed up. We were not happy campers. I asked some important questions like: "Does anyone know how to close and open the metal door?" And, then I went to try. A sinch!

Next question: "How do we know when the hell to get out of here?"

Now that was a little trickier. We all had our cell phones. Of course we did! But none of them worked in the shelter. Duh!

So the plan is that we all buy really good flashlights. We all look to see if we have a radio that runs on both electric and battery power...not such an easy thing these days with iPods etc. And I thought someone should check the big tank of water and the toilets. Well, it is important.

Some of you remember the days when we were getting the sealed room ready and I shlepped my friend Rena with me to the Mall. We happily made our way into the pet shop to buy kitty litter.

Shalom ladies, the man said. What kind of kitty litter are you looking for? Scented, unscented? Is a five kilo bag enough? What kind of a cat do you own?

I looked at him and brazenly informed him that we do not own cats...we have no idea about the different kinds of kitty litter...and that I am certain that one kilo each would be sufficient.

He looked at me strangely.

I explained: You see. We are all getting the sealed room ready. My room does not include a bathroom and from my experience from the last time, as soon as the siren goes off, everyone has to go to the toilet. I bought a huge garbage pail and sturdy garbage bags. Now all I need is the kitty litter to well...you know...

I thought the poor man was going to have an attack he laughed so hard. Hysterical. Rena and I had made the man's day.

Actually, I thought it was a brilliant idea.

We did buy the kitty litter...one kilo each. We did set it all up. We didn't, thank God have to use it. And we found nice neighbours who had cats and donated our unopened bags to them after the all clear.

Today I am not in the kitty litter buying stage...although it did cross my mind. I am in the flashlight and radio buying stage.

I wonder why Israel is such a big part of everyone's agenda? I wonder if Obama is going to bow to Mubarak. Wait! Wait! He didn't bow. It was a mistake.

And everyone is in that river in Egypt.
And I am beginning to fear that Mr. Emanuel is a city in Egypt.

(1. denial...2 Putz ah Yid (port said))

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.