FREE WILLIE

Okay. I have decided to take a day off of politics...well maybe...I still haven't heard any news this morning.

Instead I will tell you about Free Willie. Not a pretty tale.

A few months ago I was having pains in my legs and knees...of course I was. When you are over twelve you get a few pains. But, you know me, I went to the doctor.

He sent me for X-Rays. All quiet on the western front.

So, he then sent me to an orthopedic doctor. Nice man. We talked about Colorado...his wife is a guest lecturer in the University of Denver. I talked about how the deer and antelope play in front of my brother's house in the foothills of the Rockies.

Then he sent me for a bone scan. I drank the stuff. Then the lady said I had to walk for an hour so the stuff would spread all over. I said, "Lady if I could walk for an hour, I wouldn't be here!"

I walked.

Thank God the bone scan came back okay. Nu a little stuff showed in one knee and the shoulders--all those years of shlepping heavy purses and groceries.

Then we did two Cat Scans. Thank God, okay. A little stress here...a little degeneration there.

Then he said it. "Marallyn, I want you to go swimming."

I said, "Free Willie???" trying to play down the horror in my voice.

Well my friends...twice a week I go to the pool. Just up the street. Lovely place. I go at 8:15...that's when the men leave and the ladies swim. I love my ladies. They are older and some are chubbier than I am and we have a hell of a time as we pass each other up and down the lanes. 

Some of the ladies just stand and discuss recipes while moving their arms and wait for the lady to come at 9:30 for exercises in the water.

Swimming is the easy part. The hard part is pulling yourself out of the pool as gravity grabs hold and then the hot showers and getting dressed. That isn't fun. They do have hair dryers. Two of them. They are like the hand blowers in the bathrooms. Make noise but not worth much. In the winter it wasn't fun walking out with a semi-wet head of hair under my hat. But I survived.

One day as I walked back into the dressing room there was a little old lady sitting on a towel. Except for her green ankle socks she was stark naked holding a hand mirror putting on her lipstick! I love that lady. She knows what is important.

Naked old ladies are not sexy. I thought I would share that with you in case some of you were thinking of boring holes in the partition between the men's and ladies' dressing rooms. Don't bother. In fact, the sight might damage your eyes.

So I swim. I decided to try two lengths and then run in place for a count of 100.

The good news is that in a half hour I now swim 20 lengths and run for a count of 1, 000.

And I've lost 12 kilo!. That is thanks to the swimming and Judy the dietitian.

Hell, I figured if my knees and legs ache and I'm freeing Willie, I better get some fat off my tuchess. So I did!!

Okay off I go to the pool. Sundays and Thursdays are pool days as those are the days I run to the university to teach Mordechai. He's in a wheelchair and can't make it up to my place because of the steps to get into the building. Stupid architect put int two elevators inside and twenty-two steps to get to the lobby. His mother told him he was an architect!!! But, the good news is that after 23 years our building has decided to add a one-floor, outside elevator which will connect to the lobby and they started working on it last week. Yahoooo.

Shavuah tov!!!

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.