So How Come I’m a Nervous Wreck?

The sun is shining. The birds are singing. It looks like we’re going to have a lovely day here in Jerusalem. It’s eight o’clock in the morning. I phoned my brother David in Colorado to say good morning. I phoned Bubbie Channah to discuss lunch.

Every day since my mom moved to Jerusalem we have lunch together. Well, almost every day. Nice, no? I mean who at my age gets to go out for lunch with their mommy? The daily discussion usually goes like this:

‘Boker tov, Ma. How are you?’
‘Boker or. Fine, how are you?’
‘Good. So what’s new?’ ( Ma and I talk about a zillion times every day.)
‘Nothing. Those damn mosquitoes kept me up all night. Honestly, Marallyn, they’re awful. And so small you can’t even see them. I itch all over.’
‘Oy. So, let’s go to Hamashbir (the big department store next to Ma’s apartment and the basement level is her supermarket ) and get that shmitchik you plug into the wall. Remember that thingee that zaps mosquitoes?’
‘That’s a good idea. Want to eat lunch upstairs in the little coffee shop? We could have a nice sandwich.’
‘Sure. Ok, Ma. I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you when I’m on the bus. Oh, guess what? I found some more wool in the cupboard.’
‘You did? Good, bring it to me. I still have twenty more squares to go on my sweet boy’s bedspread.’ ( her sweet boy is my youngest son)
‘Sure. Did you hear any news?’
‘To tell you the truth, I turned the television off. I couldn’t listen to it any more.’
‘Good! Me too. Ok, Ma. I’ll talk to you later.’

Another day. I’m getting close to a hundred emails a day. Here is one I just picked up from Naomi Ragen, the famous Israeli author. Look for her books, you won’t be sorry.

“A report from YNET 15/8/06 filed at 2:58 am says that
Hezbollah fired four bombs at Southern Lebanon, despite the
ceasefire, in an attempt to harm Israeli soldiers. No one was hurt. Israel
did not fire back..I'm sure no one is going to report this
violation in your local paper unless
and until -God forbid - Israelis are hurt and then
retaliate. Then Israel will be blamed for breaking the
ceasefire. Please note.”

Olmert says he’s responsible. Finally we agree. For over a month they bombed us and Olmert kept the troops waiting on our side of the border. Yes, sir, Mister Prime Minister. You are responsible. For the mess we are in now and for the monster you just gave birth to.

Sharon is getting worse. They should have let him die with dignity. All the world leaders would have come to give him a royal send off. Now he will just go peacefully into the night. He would have loved the pomp and circumstances. I loved him when he was Arik. When it wasn’t politically correct to love him, I still did. Then he became someone else. And I didn’t recognize him any more. Enough already. Let him just slip away. Lily’s waiting for him.

I haven’t written on my book, Emma Shelby is No More for months. Oh, I’ve been editing and rewriting chapters, but not starting with a blank page and filling in the words. First my sonny boy went on his quest to South America. Then I started working a 60 hour week for the past month. And the war.

Today I think I’ll go back to being just me. Marallyn. Not the mommy. Not the daughter. Not the wife. Not the Bubbie. Not the business woman. Just Marallyn.

So, you take this watch. I’ve got a date with Emma and all her Lebanese family. Today, I think I know them better than ever.

Have a great day…stay safe…and thanks for dropping in.