When My Mother Wins the Lottery

Bubbie Chanah will be 83 this week, tfu tfu tfu and as she runs around downtown Jerusalem in her size 4, bright, orange Crocs getting her groceries at Hamashbir, or simply walking to one of her favourite restaurants for lunch, she is a hero in my eyes.

Ma moved here nine years ago when our Dad passed away. A month after she moved into her apartment above King George Street, the suicide bombers began blowing us up. The blasts were close enough to blow open her cupboards and scare the wits out of poor Bubbie. But, as soon as the smoke cleared, she went back downstairs to show the bastards that she wasn't going to let them scare her or keep her from walking around her new city.

Ma spends most of her days at home reading, knitting and watching tv. She's the one who always calls and tells us what's going on. When there is a piguah, terrorist attack, anywhere in the country, she calls.

'Marallyn, there's a map with a star!'
'Where?'
'I don't know, they're speaking Hebrew. Quick, turn on the tv.'

That was when Ma started thinking about moving to New Zealand. She figured that since New Zealand was never in the news, it had to be a nice place to live.

Twice a week for nine years, Ma's been buying a lottery ticket. She and our Cousin Shmuel each buy tickets and have a deal that when one of them wins, they will split the cash 50-50. So far in all this time, I think their big winning has been around a hundred and fifty shekels, maybe $30. But, boy oh boy when they win you would think they were millionaires!

Ma has her favourite lottery person and she knows when the draw will be on tv every week. For that her Hebrew is perfect!

Now with the War on, Ma has decided that the time has come for her to be the big winner. Then she can take us all on a vacation to Hawaii and get away from the bombing and threats of more suicide bombers.

Last week when we became a bit paranoic about more kidnappings, my brother called and told ma that maybe she shouldn't wear the size 4, bright orange Crocs...too conspicuous.

Then he started to laugh and told Ma that since he bought them for her with love, she should wear them in good health, and the hell with the terrorists.

So, until Ma wins the lottery, I guess you will be able to find us here in Jerusalem, G-d's holy city, breathing in the same air that the Original Cast breathed.

Oh, and in case you forgot, talking to G-d in Jerusalem is a local call.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.