OZZIE AND HARRIET

It sounded something like this:

He: Jibber, jibber, jibber ,jibber.
She: Jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber.
LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH!
We would look at each other, smile and say 'Ozzie and Harriet.'

Picture this...Jerusalem 1970. I lived in a fancy flat with my two girlfriends from Detroit. A great flat on HaPalmach Street, exactly across from the Islamic Center. We watched it being built from our mirpesset (porch).

Of course, I should mention that that fancy/shmancy flat cost $200 a month which at the time was a month's salary in Israel and was 56 stairs up!!!

Who cared? We were young. We were in Jerusalem.

We didn't have a television. Few did. But we had a radio. I knew three words in Hebrew at the time...shalom and bli yadayim...Hi and Hands off!

In order to break the silence in the flat we always turned on the radio. It didn't take us long to be able to distinguish between the Hebrew and Arabic channels. Waller, waller, waller, waller was Arabic while Jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber was Hebrew.

We were looking for music to listen to while we learned how to make a sponzhah...a cleaning method dated from the Second Temple involving a squeeghi on a long handle and a shmatteh that never stayed draped over the squeeghi and a pail of soapy water which was supposed to make sure that your floors stayed clean.

First you have to pick up all the furniture, and pile it on the sofa which you then move from place to place as you wash the offending floor. Then, you pour the sudsy water all over the place, shmear it with the shmatteh, dunk in pail and squeeze before moving on to another spot on the floor. Next, dump the shmatteh in the pail of now dirty water. And with the squeeghi acting like a big window wiper, you gather up all the excess water, use the shmatteh to soak it up, and finally, yahooo with a dry shmatteh you go over the floor one last time!

Had to be a man who invented this.

Where I came from, first of all we had a cleaning lady twice a week and second of all we were civilized...wall to wall carpets...and a nice vacuum cleaner which, like a lawn mower, only needed a once-over to be done in that area.

During the course of that first year in Jerusalem, we went to Ulpan and learned Hebrew. Slowly, slowly we were able to understand more and more on the radio. More and more we were able to communicate with our neighbours. And slowly slowly we began making friends.

It was one of those years you savour and tuck away into a special corner of your heart. You know the place...when you think about it you get all warm inside and smile.

That was the first brave year of my life. I left home. Not only left home, but moved half way round the world to Israel, for God's sake!

I was five when we got our first television...yes dear hearts, I am that old. And I was twenty-eight when we got our second one here in Israel.

What a treat! Now we could watch Ozzie and Harriet. The brilliant skits featuring Yossi Banai and Rivka Michaeli, HaGashash HaHiver...Shaykeh Offir, were now enhanced with Mabat, THE NEWS. Two channels...one Israeli and the other Jordanian. Take your pick. Both showed movies. No subtitles. What was Friday night without the Arabic movie?

Since then my Hebrew has gotten pretty good. I read it, I write it, and watch out...I speak it.

And now, that I finally understand everything that they are saying, I can't stand to watch them any more. Our news is pro-Olmert...pro-left. My blood pressure goes up every time Yossi Beilin or Yuli Tamir or Dalia Itzik speak.

Bubbie Channah can't stand Hanan Ashrawi or Sayeb Arakat, who at one time were on nearly as much as Yossi and Yuli.

So, today instead of watching the news, I read it online.
http://www.ynetnews.com
http://www.imra.org.il
http://www.haaretz.com

And CNN Alerts/Israel.

Here is what I just got in my email from CNN:
U.S. to
Israel: Ease up on Arab-Americans10/19/06 07:34 PM, EDT
The State
Department has complained to the Israeli government about its
discriminatory
treatment of Arab-Americans traveling to the Palestinian
territories, senior
State Department officials said Thursday.FULL
STORY http://CNN.com

Can you keep a secret? I am soooooooooo tired of Palestine Pity.

Give me Ozzie and Harriet any day.

Shabbat shalom.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.