Thursday, April 26, 2007

BORN TO KVETCH

I hate to admit it, but this is the way I speak. A little English...a little Hebrew...a little Yiddish and all in the same sentence. For example: I could say to my kids: 'Take a mitriyah, it looks a bissel like rain.' (Take an umbrella, it looks a little like rain.)

Hope you enjoy this and if not it isn't my fault, I got it from Rena. :)))

"Born to Kvetch" by Michael Wex



The New York City Public Schools have officially declared Jewish
English, now dubbed Hebonics, as a second language. Backers of the move
say the city schools are the first in the nation to recognize Hebonics
as a valid language and a significant attribute of American culture.
According to Howard Ashland, linguistics professor at Brooklyn College
and renowned Hebonics scholar, the sentence structure of Hebonics
derives from middle and eastern European language patterns, as well as
Yiddish.

Question: "What time is it?"
English answer: "Sorry, I don't know."
Hebonic response: "What am I, a clock?"
.......
Remark: "I hope things turn out okay."
English answer: "Thanks."
Hebonic response: "I should be so lucky!"
........
Remark: "Hurry up. Dinner's ready."
English answer: "Be right there."
Hebonic response: "Alright already, I'm coming. What's with the
'hurry' business? Is there a fire?"
........
Remark: "I like the tie you gave me; I wear it all the time."
English answer: "Glad you like it."
Hebonic response: "So what's the matter; you don't like the other ties
I gave you?"
..........
Remark: "Sarah and I are engaged."
English answer: "Congratulations!"
Hebonic response: "She could stand to lose a few pounds."
........
Question: "Would you like to go riding with us?"
English answer: "Just say when."
Hebonic response: "Riding, shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?"
........
To the guest of honor at a birthday party:
English answer: "Happy birthday."
Hebonic response: "A year smarter you should become."
..........
Remark: "A beautiful day."
English answer: "Sure is."
Hebonic response: "So the sun is out; what else is new?"
.......
Answering a phone call from a son:
English answer: "It's been a while since you called."
Hebonic response: "You didn't wonder if I'm dead already?"
........
***HAVE A GREAT DAY**** if that's possible!...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

21 Comments:

At 11:07 AM, Blogger wendy said...

Hebonics. That is great!

One thing I am loving in Hawaii is the way the local lingo is worked right in to conversation.

 
At 5:50 PM, Blogger jennifer said...

'i should be so lucky' too funny. You are totally cracking me up!
I am not Jewish, but I want my own language.
I've decided to call is shortbonics. All of my language benefits come from the basis of being short.
Did you see their roof it looks like it leaks...shortbonics..'what roof?'
Don't you look in the mirror when you brush your teeth?...shortbonics... 'there is a mirror in the bathroom?'
Honey why are the second shelves in the kitchen empty?...shortbonics ...we have second shelves?
Why the footstool in front of the toilet, you don't have any toddlers?...shortbonics...I can't have my legs dangle when I am 'busy'
Sorry but I felt crazy and goofy after reading your post.
I probably wouldn't feel so short except my husband is 15 inches taller than me... and all my kids are too!
Have a wonderful day!

 
At 7:49 PM, Blogger Lemon Lime Moon said...

LOL!! Exactly.. Mamesh Exactly !
Cute. "yeshivish" is the other hebonics too, and a language all its own.

 
At 9:24 PM, Blogger PortraitofPeter said...

Thank you for sharing such a wonderful expresison of "Born to Kvetch" by Max Wex.

Really loved reading.

Blessings from Scotland.

 
At 12:48 AM, Blogger Val said...

I love Hebonic responses!

 
At 1:38 AM, Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 1:44 AM, Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Oh I just realized I could give you the questions here and only you will see them.

I'll do that, my dear.

1. You have been given the opportinity of having dinner with any five famous people, dead or alive. Who would they be, and why?

2. Dancer or Singer?

3. If you could go back and change one thing about the path you have takrn in life, what would it be, and why?

4. Do you have a hidden talent that you wish you could persue, and why?

5. If you were told you had only six monthe to live, How would you spend them?

And here is the blurb you put on your blog when you post your answers:

LOL, LOL...
Yeah...there is soooo much money to be made if you are in the league I am....

BTW: I have your questions for the INTERVIEW, and here they are.....Have fun, my dear.

1. You have just been elected President of the United States. What are the first four things you would do in your new position?

2. If you could live your life over, what one thing would you do differently?

3. A Square Peg or A Round Hole, and why?

4. Your very weathly Aunt has left you $100 million., with the caveat that you must build the house of your dreams anywhere in the world that your heart desires...Where would it be and what would it look like?

5. Your wealthy Aunt also said: You may give a fabulous dinner party for 5 Famous people. But all of these famous people are no longer living....Who would your five Dream Dinner Guests be, and why?

Hope this sounds like fun, my dear...

Here is the blurb for your blog:

Blurb For Your Blog:

1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview me."

2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your weblog with the answers to the questions.

4., You will include the explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Enjoy!

 
At 7:52 AM, Blogger Geologychick said...

Great Book! It is in my collection! My Grandparents spoke Yiddish... so I had to get the book. My favorite is at the very end - Five Yiddish Words frequently Misused in English - Enjoy:
1. Goyim
2. Khutspe
3. Knish
4. Shmus
5. Shpilkes

Too funny!

 
At 9:22 PM, Anonymous John Little said...

Nu? What's so great about today? My kids don't talk to me. I have NO idea where my wife is. I can't find my house. And my car... don't ask me about my car.

On top of that, I've lost my mind somewhere. I've checked behind the couch. I've looked under the carpet. I think that the cat has it.

Oy VEH!

- John Little

 
At 11:37 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

shalom wendy...funny how that happens, no?

 
At 11:38 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

yahoooooooooo jennifer!!! when we were growing up my brother and i thought our mom's name was 'shorty' cuz that's what our Dad AH called her...greatttttttt comment bravo

 
At 11:39 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

brilliant lemon lime...yeshivish lolol...farfetched should be one too don't you think???

 
At 11:40 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

shalom peter...thanks sooooooooo much for dropping in...and from scotland!!!

 
At 11:40 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

hi val...me 2 me 2...shabbat shalom my friend

 
At 11:43 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

shalom oldlady...see my next blog...very good and loads of fun...thanks so much for dropping in

 
At 11:46 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

ahhhhhhhh chick...great list...
1. Goyim - non jews
2. Khutspe - unmitigated gall
3. Knish - yummy puff pastry filled with meat or mashed potatoes
4. Shmus - a little visit to catch up on the news
5. Shpilkes - pins and needles or what your mate feels when you have kept him waiting a half hour while you decide what to wear
lololololol...thanks chick

 
At 11:53 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

john you dawg...i didn't know you were jewish!!!!!!!!

 
At 5:15 AM, Blogger Jungle Mom said...

Around here we speak, Spanglish! All the time, it is muy malo. I tried to not let my kids do it too much growing up. But sometimes the Spanish word just FEELS better, comprende?
And then, que pasó? I was doing it tambien! Then you throw in the third language of the indian tribe where we lived, and a Dad who teaches Greek!:0

 
At 6:17 AM, Blogger cheated are the clouds said...

Hebonics awesome laughed my butt off, nice

 
At 3:22 PM, Blogger Caraqueña said...

Love it! I always did wonder what some of those Hebrew words meant. Kvetch sounds like barf...I'm sure that's WAY off. And Oy vey...does it mean Hey you? Great and enjoyable post...as always!

 
At 5:42 AM, Blogger Perez said...

Did you read "Born to Kvetch"?

If you did, was it good?

LOL....Funny stuff

 

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