Sunday, July 30, 2006

My Brother Figured it Out

My brother David is a quiet man. He says it’s all my fault since I never let him get a word in until he was almost three. Who me?

David and his wife live in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, just outside of Boulder, Colorado. It’s hard maintaining close contact when every time you pick up the phone the meter clicks and the bills mount up. But over the years the long distance rates have gone down so that now we can talk to each other for almost the price of a local call. And, of course there are free communications available online, such as Skype and Messenger.

Well, during the last intifada I started calling my brother. First thing every morning I called…never thinking that, with the time difference, it was bedtime in Colorado. And we talked. No, I talked. Bless him, he listened. And we made plans.

We always had to have a plan. That started when our Dad AH was dying. But that’s another story.

We make all kinds of elaborate plans, but somehow, thank goodness, never get to put them into practice. We almost do. We get adjacent to activating the plans.

Well, yesterday David called.

‘I figured it out.’
‘You did?’
‘Yup!’ (I could hear the smile in his voice)
‘OK’
‘You remember the big hu-ha the Muslims made over that cartoon a few months ago?’
‘Sure.’
‘That’s it!’
‘It is?’
‘Yup! (smile, smile)’
‘So how is that it?’
‘They don’t have a sense of humour.’
Laughing now, I asked, ‘A what?’
‘Name me ten Jewish comedians.’
That’s easy, I said and began counting them off.
‘OK, now name me some black comedians.’
That’s easy, I said and began counting them off.
‘OK, now name me one Muslim comedian.’
I thought for a second.
‘Danny Thomas!’
‘That’s it! You got it!’
‘I did?’
‘Yup.’
By now we were both laughing.
Then he added, ‘The entire problem with the Muslim world is that they don’t have a sense of humour!’

I stopped for a second and realized that he was absolutely correct.

So then he told me his plan.
‘We have to get a hold of all the old tapes of the Danny Thomas Show and translate them into Arabic. Then we bombard the airlines that go to all the Muslim states with them…kinda like Radio Free Europe.’

The picture that came into my mind was when Hanibal Lector was in his cell and the warden kept pumping music or something over the wires day and night at him.

You think you can tickle a person to death? Even Nasrallah?

I don’t know but it may be worth a try.

But one thing I do know. The last laugh will be ours. G-d told me. He did.
See every time G-d needs a laugh, he comes into my kitchen to watch me keep kosher. He’s a good guy, our G-d. And heaven knows HE has a great sense of humour. I mean, he invented the mosquito, didn’t He?


Bubbie Channah got a call from David’s son begging her to come live with him and get out of the war zone. Ma thanked him and told him she had to stay.

‘Why, Bubbie? I have all your old furniture and we can get you a nice place and it will be like you’re living in Windsor again. You’ll love Vancouver.’
‘Sweetface, I have to stay because I have to tell Marallyn every day that it’s going to be ok.’

Maybe G-d talks to Bubbie Channah too.

Have a great day…stay safe…and thanks for dropping in.

4 Comments:

At 9:01 PM, Anonymous Ricky said...

Dear zeisa Marallyn! I would have had a very difficult time thinking of an Arab who had a sense of humour! But you did..what a memory! The truth of the matter is they REALLY don't have a sense of humour. Nor a sense of humanity! Other than Danny Thomas (and Marlo and maybe one or two others) the world would be a funnier place without them! Stay safe, keep writing and be cool. Love you!

 
At 11:06 AM, Anonymous b said...

Dear Epess
I don't recall how this name came up for you, but you are truly SOMETHING! When I get to my PC in the mornining first thing I do is read your blog. Your communication and insight of the War on the Jews is heart warming. I was so glad this AM to hear (read) about David. Please give him a big HELLO for me.
In today's Toronto Star, Haroon Siddiqi, a Muslim and Arab mouthpiece must be talking about another War especially when you read the Australian article. Even the newsreaders on CNN this AM were questioning the attack on Qana as aggression by Israel. Its too much for these empty talking heads to understand that the Lebanese government and Hezbollah use innocents as shields and they are the ones who should answer to the world. Israel is not using ball bearing as shrapnell to kill civilians. My anger over the situlation is tqking me away from my purpose of this email which is to tell you how much I enjoy reading your thoughts and perceptions. Also a great big HEllO to your mother.
Please stay ssafe and well...
love
B

 
At 11:07 AM, Anonymous ricky said...

Dear zeisa Marallyn! I would have had a very difficult time thinking of an Arab who had a sense of humour! But you did..what a memory! The truth of the matter is they REALLY don't have a sense of humour. Nor a sense of humanity! Other than Danny Thomas (and Marlo and maybe one or two others) the world would be a funnier place without them! Stay safe, keep writing and be cool. Love you!

 
At 11:11 AM, Anonymous the guv said...

While I'm running the risk of oversimplifying the entire genre of Arabic comedy to the bizarre antics found in virtually every Egyptian Dish Network movie featuring that guy with the notoriously bad comb-over and Danny Thomas, I think it's pretty safe to say that our expectations aren't all that high when it comes to Arab public figures of comedy around the world.
the guv

 

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