Thursday, August 24, 2006

BETTER TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE WEATHER

Nu, so ask me what’s new? Don’t ask. We are in such a mess here now that the next rumble in the sky may not be thunder, but God stamping His foot as He looks down at the mess his Chosen People have made of everything.

Dear God,

It’s not Your fault. You didn’t know that the fine-shmekkers would try to turn the Lion of Judah into a little shepherd. I mean, even David had to put down his staff and take up his sling-shot and smack Goliath in the head. Remember, God?


So God, maybe we need a woman Prime Minister this time? An Esther? I used to think it would be our Foreign Minister, Tsipi Livni, but it turns out that she sold her jewels to help make the Golden Calf. Too bad, Tsipi. I wonder what your Papa thinks about you jumping ship. (Eitan Livni was a former member of the famous Irgun).

There are all kinds of rumours floating about. Did the President rape that lady? Did our former Minister of Justice sexually harass that lady who simply asked for a nice picture with him, and as a bonus got her tonsils washed…or so she claims.

Then there are the two scary stories going around. One, if…no, let me put it better…WHEN our Prime Minister resigns we may end up with Shimon…Peres…the man who never won a single election in his life but somehow always manages to have a job and flies around the world in his nice suit.

And finally, God. Say it isn’t so. Please, God. If…no, let me put it better…WHEN our President resigns or is kicked out, we may end up with…shudder…shudder…Dalia Itzik, our first lady Speaker of the House.

See, God, I always thought that ‘history never repeats itself’, but I think we’re in deep trouble. Sodom and Gomorrah all over again, right God? Oy yoy yoy. Wait, God, wait! I know the routine. Thunder and lightning and earthquakes and alakazam somebody’s wife gets turned into a pillar of salt!

Don’t look at me, God. My Daddy AH taught me to never volunteer.

How about if we make a deal? I’ll give you the fornicators and You give me back Israel. I’ll give You the priests who took bribes at the Temple and You give me back Jerusalem.

Count to ten before starting the floods, God. And while You’re at it, if you don’t mind, hold back on the earthquakes.

Maybe if we work together on this we can save the store. Whaddya think? I’m not asking for me God. But, I have two little grandchildren and boy I’d sure like them to have the land of milk and honey.

You can do it! I know You can. I’m putting my money on You, God. What’s another little miracle for someone like You? Hell….wait…wait let me put that better….heck this is the land of miracles and You are the One God. We don’t have anyone else to turn to.

How much is a scared prayer worth, You ask?

I don’t know but I’m scared and I’m praying.

Talk to You again soon. Oh, and God? Thanks for listening. Amen.

Have a great day…stay safe…and thanks for dropping in.

1 Comments:

At 4:24 PM, Anonymous nancy said...

Dear Marallyn,
This is super! I'm taking it to my women's class on Sunday. We were just talking about how we're entitled to ask things from G-d too and this exactly fits with it.
I really enjoyed seeing you at 'two steps' and look forward to being in contact. Have a Shabbat Shalom!
Love,
Nancy

 

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