Sunday, October 22, 2006

FRIENDS FOREVER...MAYBE

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night, and since I couldn't sleep, I decided to write a blog. After trying for an hour and still not being able to access blogspot, I went to GoogleHelp and, with a sigh of relief, was thrilled to discover it wasn't my computer after all. It was a Google thing.

Not that I was happy about a Google thing, but hey...better than being a my computer thing.

So, since I was up I called the Guv in Canada. That was the second time I called her yesterday. The first time was to get some information I needed for the book I'm writing, 'Emma Shelby is No More'.

Chick-chak, as we say here, she found the info and emailed it off to me. Then, ten minutes later she phoned me. A daughter of a close friend is sick and needs prayers. So, for any of you out there who could and would, please add Shira bat Pnina to your list. THANKS.

I think it was the third or fourth phone call that night when we started talking about friends and friendships.

Such a precious, delicate thing a friendship is. A kind of marriage between two souls that needs to be cared for and nurtured and trusted.

When I was growing up my Dad AH told me that if I could count three people my friend, I would be lucky. Heck, I answered and began counting off on both hands the people I considered my friend.

Today I have a couple here in Israel and a couple back there over the big water.

You know the kind of friends...you don't hear from them in a while and as soon as you pick up the phone, you continue on as if no time in the world had passed. The kind of friend who sees you naked and still thinks you're perfect. The kind of friend, who when you are in trouble hurts for you and tries to figure out a solution along with you.

I had another friend here in Jerusalem. For over twenty years we were friends. Then, about a year and a half ago, something happened. All of a sudden every time we spoke on the phone she found fault with what I was saying. Every time we met for dinner we ended up sparring verbally.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not a person to take lightly into a confrontation. My Cancer sun backs off and my Leo ascendant pushes forward along with my Pisces moon, that never forgets anything (good or bad) and I don't even need to have the last word for you to know I won.

But, the good thing is that my same Cancer sun and Pisces moon make me back off and avoid that confrontation in the first place. I would rather say I'm sorry, I didn't mean to whatever, than begin the verbal fisticuffs in the first place.

So, I backed off. And backed off. And she advanced. And changed the rules. Now she added rules and if I didn't follow the new rules, then I wasn't a friend. In case you were wondering, yes she's a Virgo!

Like a Weeping Willow Tree, I began to bend and sway with the wind. But, whatever I did, it wasn't good enough. Last month she wrote me an email and informed me that since I am not doing what needs to be done in order to maintain this friendship, that she now understands that I am no longer interested in maintaining it.

Twenty-five years down the toilet.

I have a lot to say. But I have learned that the other side has to be interested in listening before I waste my time and energy.

My friend Rena told me that some place she read that friendships can last for a week, a month, a year, or forever. And sometimes when they have finished their purpose they disappear.

So, to all my friends, both old and new...thanks for being there and for sharing my journey. Bring a sandwich and a diet coke...with God's help, we've got a long way yet to go!

I received a cute email last week. Two pussycats hugging and underneath was written:


You and Me is friends
You smile, I smile
You hurt,
I hurt
You cry,
I cry
You jump off a bridge
I gonna miss your E-mails!


Shavuah tov.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

28 Comments:

At 12:34 PM, Anonymous the guv said...

Another marvellous blog. BUT....

It's time to tell your readers.

Marallyn and The Guv are actually identical twins.

Born of two mothers, two years apart.

Family members, friends, and strangers alike, keep getting the two mixed up. Silly, really, because there is a two foot difference in their heights.

The Guv

 
At 12:36 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

dani da vito and arnold shwartzeneger...hence...the guv!!! ps did you notice that she didn't tell you that she is the older twin???

 
At 12:44 PM, Anonymous the guv said...

Did you notice that one of us is a tad more discreet ?

The Guv

 
At 12:44 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

nope :)))

 
At 5:04 PM, Anonymous Sydonia said...

How timely, that my brother and I were sharing a lengthy discussion, yesterday, about frienships and he contributed a simple quote for me to store in my library of 'Hmmmmmm's':
"People are friends---in 'spots'."
Not profound, but :'Hmmmmm'
To you, and the Guv, who have filled the 'spots' in my life to a degree that we may not ever understand, I send only continued love----and appreciation for making me look like a dalmation. (don't ask me where THAT thought floated into my brain but I started to giggle---I guess I was getting too emotional in remembering)

 
At 6:03 PM, Anonymous the guv said...

Did you notice that one of them always likes to have the last word ?

The Guv

 
At 6:05 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

no!!!! which one???

 
At 6:15 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

dear dear sydonia...where would we be without you???all those years you were our cheerleader...we loved you then and we love you now even more...if possible...ps i asked sydonia to explain 'spots' to me a little more and here is her answer:

I think the concept of 'spots' is just as you and I have discussed in the past.
Somehow, in our lives we have many important people in out lives some of whom we consider as friends, some of similar importance but deeply remarkable in our lives. All valued as friends but some having more of an impact, some of lifetime endurance, some changing our lives but for a moment, and some creating great changes or bonds and forever. All 'spots'.
And, sadly, there are those who disappoint as you wrote in your last blog. Those may be pencil smudges left after the eraser is worn down.
That's my take on the quote but if you have anything to add, my biggest-permanent-ink-spot, I would love to hear. It was just one of those simple sentences that create contemplation.

 
At 6:47 PM, Anonymous the guv said...

The older, more discreet twin.

The Guv

 
At 6:49 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

guv...you win!!! :)))

 
At 7:03 PM, Anonymous the guv said...

Amen. ( And that, Danny De Vito, IS the last word )

The Guv

 
At 9:29 PM, Anonymous sydonia said...

not wanting to be one for the last word but I must send an apology to the two of you for interrupting your sparring---:))) spar on...........

 
At 12:07 AM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

sydonia...we were just waiting for someone interesting to drop in...you is one of us girlfriend...and now i have the last word yahoooooooooooooo...ps thanks for all the help today...stay safe

 
At 12:14 AM, Anonymous the guv said...

That's what you think !

The Guv

 
At 12:21 AM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

:)))))

 
At 12:30 AM, Anonymous the guv said...

All right, all right. The last word is mine, the last smile is yours.
Satisfied ? Wait !!!!!!! Don't answer that .

The Guv

 
At 12:31 AM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

what about sydonia???

 
At 12:41 AM, Anonymous the guv said...

You just HAD to do it, didn't you ?? !!!

Well, I just called her and she said that she likes me better than you and that I should have the last word, the last smile, the last EVERYTHING.

The Guv

 
At 12:42 AM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

:(

 
At 12:46 AM, Anonymous the guv said...

Crap !

The Guv

 
At 1:19 AM, Anonymous donna said...

OK,OK----I couldn't even leave to go to buy my groceries that you two couldn't stay out of trouble !!!! :)))
AND---How did I get in the middle of the arguement, picking sides??? Don't want to see any more friendships disintegrate, especially not right before my very eyes! lol
--and I'm not vying for the last word---my dinner is ready; the oven timer is beeping-----love you both

 
At 1:25 AM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

psssst guv...i think she got us

 
At 1:35 AM, Blogger Leann said...

I have had friends in my life and some were my friends and some were not.my friend passed away last night.we were good friends.she was much older then I and she was the mother to one of my child hood fiends.but it was Doris and I how stayed friends.the youger one drifted off and we were only just passing fiends.Doris and I went to cabins for week stays,and would take drives all over to enjoy the wilderness and the fall colors.then she got sick and ended losing a leg.she was still my friend, I would call her and go see her.she got to meet my husband and I would bring her pic,s of where we would go so she would feel like she was still able to see the places her and I had gone.she was a dear friend.I will miss her a great deal.some people come into your life to stay some people come in only to leave.marallyn it may be that the one you talked about was one who didn,t come to stay.and you know the Lord sometimes gets people out of your life that drag you down or hold you back.if thats the case dear you are better off.when God closes a door he also opens a window,so look for that window and watch a new friend come in.pray for me cause tuesday is her funeral and I will go.I will pray for the one you asked prayer for. {when the Lord shakes your nest its to make you see he has a better place for you.}my fiend is safe with Jesus,and I will miss her but I also envy her, she is in a far better place then here.I hold to the fact that I will see her again.one good stick with you fiend is worth a thousand fly by nights.salom,and may God send you peace about the ex friend.I liked your blog.oh and I to was trying to blog last night.and couldn,t get my blog and thought oh great now what?well praise the Lord it was only a google thing and not a computer thing like you said.I thought some how I had lost my whole blog.I was about ready to teach my computer how to fly out a 7th floor window!!! but thank God He calmed me down and I shut it off.these things can be a real stress maker.I have about 100 new gray hairs to prove it.love from the USA to Jerusalem.

 
At 7:36 AM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

dear leann...thank you so much for your comment...i am so sorry about your friend and how blessed you both were to have each other...love to you too over there across the big water...lovely post thanks...stay safe

 
At 9:04 AM, Anonymous Chavah said...

I too have experienced the death of a friendship of 14 yrs. It is very sad when these things happen, but there are lessons to be learned. I've learned the real friends "come to stay", while others "come and go" and it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. There are acquaintances who bring us happiness, then there is a rare friendship, the friendship everyone longs for that is a "soul connection". That's what you and "Arnold" have, you are "soul sisters" (it is obvious). You cherish each other and that is a beautiful thing. I too have a "soul connection" friend who now lives in another State. I miss her terribly, but as you say, we can pick up the phone and resume our conversation as though we were right next door.

I will pray for your friend Shira and for Leann as she says good-bye to her precious friend one last time. She's not dead Leann, she just stepped from this life into the next. She changed residences (now living in a mansion) and your reunion will be total jubilation!

I am blessed to consider you a friend, and equally blessed to be friends with your friends...you know how to pick 'em.

Hugs,
Chavaleh

 
At 7:32 AM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

thanks chavah...when i moved to israel my friends became my family...it is always sad when one decides to go...but that only leaves a space for a new friend to join in the party...have a great day my friend...stay safe

 
At 6:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Marallyn

It's been a pleasure reading this blog and all of the comments between you and your long time friends. Ya'll are funny! It reminds me of all my friends who live in other cities. All of the fun times we shared raising our kids and spending late nights out at the dollar cinema. Boy do we have stories to tell.... I can really feel for all who have lost a friend. I had a really close friend die a year ago. I don't really have close friends here where I live and for various reasons. Some moved away, some i've chosen to let go and others have passed away. Now i'm making new friends. I have you, and John and Chavah my internet friends. I thank God for you all.

Love ya bunches!

Shira

 
At 6:59 AM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

hi shira..i have been thinking lately that when a friend leaves, they leave space for a new one...welcome my friend...stay safe

 

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