Wednesday, February 14, 2007


I don't know about you but I have a great deal of patience for dumb people. See, I figure they can't help themselves. But, boy oh boy I don't have any patience at all for stupid people.

So, when it turns out that I'M the stupid one...well you can just imagine.

The first time I remember being really stupid was in 1968. I was teaching and living in Amber Flats in Royal Oak, Michigan.

Picture this. Winter 1968. Snow everywhere. I run out to my spiffy metallic blue Mustang on my way to an important meeting and the motor is silent. Not even that cough, cough, spit, grind, sound of the battery dying in front of your very eyes. Nothing. Zilch. Nada.

I ran into the flat and quickly called AAA and realizing that they had a hysterical lady on their hands, they promised to come out immediately. I paced. I tried turning the key in the ignition once again. Silence.

The AAA guy came within fifteen minutes, a minor miracle considering all the snow and everything. Hopping from one foot to the other to keep warm I watched him turn the key and jiggle something and VOILA!!! The motor purred like my friend the Guv's cat.

I thanked him over and over and then asked the usual questions. How? What?

He just smiled at me and said, 'Lady, the car will never turn on when it's in reverse." Chuckling and shaking his head he walked back to his truck and drove off.

I didn't remember putting the damn thing in reverse. I never left the car in reverse.

All the way to my meeting I could hear him laughing and chuckling to himself, 'Darn women think they can drive.' And other less complimentary stuff like that.

Today, I woke up, davened, and ran to turn on my computer before running to teach my first student. The computer turned on just fine and was connected to the internet but wouldn't access any sites outside of Israel. I wasn't worried. That had happened before and I quickly logged onto some Israeli sites and they worked just fine.

But when I got back a few hours later and it still wouldn't connect and I couldn't access gmail or blogger or anything I called my technical support guy.

I hate calling my technical support guy. Technical support people speak a language that is scary to people like me. Pull this; push that; unplug this; now try know the routine.

Well, the conclusion was that since neither my laptop nor my p.c. would access the sites it wasn't a computer thing it was a connection thing, 'and no lady we are not experiencing any technical difficulties in your area or in the country right now.'

Those were definietly NOT the words I wanted to hear. I wanted him to tell me that it was all HIS fault and they would fix it in a nano-second and to be patient.

The final conclusion was that the wireless thingy/box thing was causing trouble. So I unplugged it from the wall. Nope. Then just when he was giving me the number of my phone server guy I pushed in all the connecting thingees to the wireless box and the p.c.

ANOTHER MIRACLE IN THE HOLY LAND!!! Yahooooo!!! Hocus Pocus, or as Uri Geller would say 'Achad...Shtayim...SHALOSH!' ( 1-2-3)

Seems that when my son, went to print something from the main computer he moved something or pushed something or Lord alone knows what happened and somehow the gear got shoved into reverse!

So, that's why this post is so late today. But to tell you the truth. I am simply so grateful that I didn't have to call my computer guy and pay him a hundred shekels an hour to jiggle the connections and tsk tsk me the way that AAA man did thirty-nine years ago.


Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.


At 5:35 PM, Anonymous John said...

39 years? Nothing happens 39 years ago.

I think that there's a law somewhere that says "stuff that happened 39 years ago, didn't."

Happy Valentines Day!

There are surely a gazillion guys who wish that you were single.

At 7:12 PM, Anonymous romie said...

I love having a cousin who's as computer challenged as I am!

Five years ago, when I turned on my computer, the screen was blank. Black. Nothing I could do would get it working. I've no more hair to lose, so in desperation I called the fix-it guy, knowing it would cost me a 'house call', but what the hell! A couple of hours later, he walked in, approached my computer, reached over & turned 'on' the screen - & gave me his invoice. How was I to know a screen can be turned 'off'? Evidently, my screen was a little dusty & our cleaning lady thought she'd help - only her dust cloth also switched off the screen!

Fast forward to 2007 - and on Monday, my printer wouldn't work. Of course I got down on my knees and, in all that mess of spaghetti wires pretended I knew what I was doing. I went to bed cursing Bill Gates and longing for the 1950's. The next morning I kvetched to Larissa about it. She walked over to my printer & told me she knew what the problem was! What? "A dusty printer". Huh?! That's right; our cleaning lady (another one) dusted my printer and flipped 'off' the switch. (Did you know that printers have an on-off switch?! They do.)

I still sometimes long for the 1950's!



At 7:13 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

ahhhhhhhhhh john...only God knows how much i love you :))))))) stay safe my dear friend and come back to us ain't the same here without you

At 7:14 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

romie!!! i love it...exactly...not only cousins but twins...sigh

At 7:28 PM, Blogger Leann said...

cant life be interresting to say the lest.some where it was said "life is what happens when your having fun."ya I know how that goes.ya get a computer and it drives ya up a wall,and ya feel like I do some times,
"to have fun and teach it to fly out my 7 floor window.and just watch it sail down and smash in a million pieces on the ground.but ya know you would have to buy another one!
O well life goes on.Iam thankful for my computer Guy His name is Jesus,I pray and He does what ever to get the dumb thing going.I just sit and push he does it, dont ask all I know is pretty soon its working.Honest that is how its done.
I get asked" well what did you do?I say how the heck am I suppose to know I just pushed buttens!

your not stupid your like every one even men.if you dont know much about it you cant fix it.that is why men are making money fixing cars.if all of us knew how to fix the darn things we wouldnt need them right?
so let the snotty guy from 39 years ago have his fun he maybe out of buisness by now.cause he didnt keep up with these new fangled all computerized cars and trucks!!!God bless ya girl and dont call my friend stupid again she is a sweet loving lady who puts out a darn good blog and I love her.Shalon my friend.Happy Valentines Day

At 8:02 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

thanks leann...God love are a joy...happy valentine's day to you too

At 9:51 PM, Blogger muse said...

Oh, yeah, don't we all have stories like that.

How about meeting at the Book Fair?
but honestly, I do know that we've met before

At 9:43 AM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

muse! the book fair...we met already? oy that would be so nice...but how could i forget you??? you are definitely unforgettable!!!


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