Tuesday, February 13, 2007


I love words. I love talking and I love writing. I love my words, your words, anyone's words, especially if they are clever. That's one of the reasons I adore Mel Brooks. The 2,000 Year Old Man, in my opinion, is a classic. Next comes Jackie Mason. And we can all quote them, right?

Next, I like to laugh. And if I can laugh because the words were clever, then what could be better? OK, OK, I know...a corned beef sandwich...pecan pie...a all-expense paid trip to some exotic place where they drink stuff out of a pineapple with one of those little umbrellas inside. Sigh.

Where was I? Oh, yes. Words. I received this a few days ago from Yehupitz' mom...a lady who I really love. And they made me smile and laugh.

So, I thought, why shouldn't I share them with you?

Some are ouchers. More fun with words...enjoy...THE PUN.

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
you," says Dolly. " It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing
to look at either.

10. DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.

12. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

14. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says "Dam!"

15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
your kayak and heat it too.

16. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But
why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand
chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

17. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain; they name him "Juan." Year's later; Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

18. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate
very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he
suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's
good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

19. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to
his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them
laugh. No pun in ten did.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.


At 4:55 PM, Anonymous John said...

You ARE terrible!

At 6:56 PM, Blogger Leann said...

LoL.love it.

At 9:45 PM, Blogger muse said...

thanks, m'dear, I needed that

At 2:43 AM, Blogger Perez said...

You were walking up a hill, you see a cabin with two dead men in it. What happened?

Take care-A good laugh you gave me-perez

At 8:58 AM, Anonymous Miriam said...

An Indian had three wives. He bought them all a skin to lie on. He bought one a goat skin; one a camel skin; and for the favourite he bought a hippopotamus skin. After a year, they all gave birth. The one with the goat skin had a boy; the one on the camel skin had a girl; and the one on the hippopotamus skin had twins - a boy and a girl.
Which shows that the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides.

At 12:50 PM, Blogger Vicky said...

Hahahaha Soooo funny! :)

At 3:13 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

john...you found me out!!!

At 3:14 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

leann...good to laugh a bit

At 3:14 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

muse...you're welcome...me too

At 3:15 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

perez you are bad!!! i'm awful at those lol

At 3:15 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

miriam...i love it!!!

At 9:48 PM, Blogger Perez said...

What? Is was just a plane crash! I never understood the joke, but I thought maybe someone would.


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