Wednesday, February 07, 2007

FOR LEXOPHILES...lovers of words

From my dear friend Rickelle...thanks girlfriend.
And one more for the pot from Sue Monk Kidd 'The Mermaid Chair'...Freudian when you say one thing and mean a-mother. Hahahaha.

OK...I do so love smart people and the English language. AHHHHHHH...

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

15. He would often have to break into song because he couldn't find the key.

16. A calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. A short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen e-mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye !!!

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

NOTE: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.


At 4:58 PM, Anonymous John said...

Ahhhh... the joy of lex.

In fact, I might consider some of those as 'lexual harrassment'.

Oh, and here's one more:

Plateau's Republic: a Little known country - somewhere in the mountains.

- John

At 7:37 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

john!!! damn you are good...yahoooooo

At 8:54 PM, Blogger torontopearl said...

I love puns and wordplay and riddle my writing with them. Oftentimes, I don't realize I've written a pun until it's already in print.
Thanks for sharing. And yes, I like commenter John's seLEXtion of wordplay!

At 11:13 PM, Blogger Perez said...

I LOVE IT! A good laugh for sure-stay safe, and as always, wishing you and your family well-perez

At 12:41 AM, Blogger Leann said...

me and the english langage are still getting to know one another.and as for trying this Id have a brain Ill just sit and admire you all for your talents.
a laps in memorie is a brain fart.

At 9:04 AM, Blogger Geologychick said...

Love this post!!! Too funny!

At 8:12 PM, Blogger marallyn ben moshe said...

hiiiiii pearl...still owe you an email...maybe tomorrow i'll have the time to sit and write...a sweet shabbat and thanks again for droppin in

shalom perez...thanks's the knitting going? do just fine my friend

'chick...good to hear from you...hope you had a happy happy birthday!!!

At 9:51 PM, Blogger Perez said...

I getting back to the crocheting....Mix it up alittle..LOL-take care


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