THINGS I WISH I'D HAVE SAID FIRST

My dear friend John is leaving Israel today. We met two years ago in our writing group and became great friends. After fourteen years, he has to go home for a bit to take care of business but this time doesn't know when he'll be back.

It wasn't that we spent so much time together. Most of our talking was online or Skype...if you don't know about skype it is a free download that lets you talk all over the world through the computer for free...yup, for free!
http://www.skype.com

I'll miss him. But, he'll be back. His love for Israel is like mine. I wish him a safe trip and that he gets everything he needs to do done quickly so he can come back soon.

I was sitting around here feeling kinda sad and then I got the funniest email.

I added it to my list of 'Damn why didn't I think of that!' list.

Did you ever hear something that made you burst out laughing and was so good that you wished you'd have said it first? Or at least thought of it? Here are a couple from my list:

1. Abraham: They get the oil and we get to cut off our WHAT?

2. During the Gulf War this was going around: The last time the Jews listened to a Bush we ended up wandering in the desert for forty years.

3. Jewish Zen:
Zen is not easy
It takes an effort to attain nothingness
And then what do you have?
Bupkes!

Wherever you go, there you are.
Your luggage is another story.

If there is no self
Whose arthritis is this?

4.Peter Marshall (Hollywood Squares): Why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

AND MY ALLTIME FAVOURITE:

5. Sign over urinal in the men's room at Hebrew University:
The future of the Jewish people is in your hands.

Hahahahaha...nice to laugh, no?

A safe flight my old friend. Come back soon.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

NOA

Thank God...Noa has been released from 'house arrest' and can come home!!! Her mother flew back last night and tomorrow Noa should have her passport back and will be coming home!!!

Thank you all for caring and praying for her speedy release. What a story she's going to have in the Old Folks' Home! Vey!

When I talk to her, I'll let you know more.

Thank you God!

I'VE GOT A FLUKKY

For those of you who have heard this before, please bear with me.

Hymie hasn't been feeling well and goes to see his doctor.
When he returns home, his wife Minnie asks:
'Nu what did he say?'
Hymie:'He says I've got a flukky.'
Minnie:'A what?'
Hymie:'A flukky.'
Minnie:'So what exactly is a flukky?'
Hymie:'I don't know.'
Minnie:'Don't worry, I'll go next door and ask Sadie. That yenteh knows everything.

Minnie goes next door and asks Sadie:
'My Hymie just got back from the doctor and he's got a flukky. You know maybe what's a flukky?'
Sadie:'Of course! Everyone in the old country had a flukky. Tell Hymie to eat prunes and in no time he'll feel like a million bucks.'

Minnie goes back and tells Hymie.

Two weeks go by and Hymie doesn't feel any better. As a matter of fact on top of everything else, now he has gas from all the prunes.

Minnie goes to her other nextdorikeh Fannie and tells her what the doctor told her Hymie.
Fannie said,'Oy, oy ,oy! A flukky? Tell him to put on hot compresses. That's what we always did for a flukky.'

Minnie goes back and tells Hymie.

Another two weeks go by and Hymie is a mess. Between the prunes and the hot compresses he doesn't have a life.

Finally, not being able to stand it any more, Minnie calls the doctor.
Minnie:'Dr.Katz, could you please tell me what's wrong with my Hymie?'
Dr. Katz:'Why nothing's wrong with your husband. All his tests came back fine. As a matter of fact, I told him he got off lucky.'

With all that is going on in the world today, sometimes it's really hard to see the glass half full.

Evil walks the planet...anti semitisim is beyond the danger mark...global warming is endangering the earth...and if that isn't enough, some meshuggeneh comet is heading in our direction.

'Yu-hu, Mr.God, I know You have a plan, but I was wondering if You could give me a couple of hints that the good guys are going to win this one. Take a second from Your busy schedule and give me a sign. Doesn't have to be earth-shattering. Just a little simman. Thanks God, Yours truely, Marallyn'

And then I thought:

It has been a month since the place where I had been working went out of business, and in those four weeks I have discovered how absolutely happy I am to be off that merry-go-round of working a zillion hours, six days a week.

Instead, I am teaching a couple of students...I am back writing...and I have my life back. Tfu tfu tfu!

I am so very very grateful. See, I got a flukky! Thanks God!

If you got a flukky, I'd love to hear about it.

Shavuah tov.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

NAKED

Got your attention, didn't I? No, I'm not sitting here in the all together with a camera pointing at my privates waiting for someone to come online and say howdy...vey!!!

BUT...I got this cutesy site from my mentor and leader of our writing group, David.

All you have to do is punch in your birthday and woohoo you would be amazed at all you can find out about yourself.

So, I punched in July 11, 19#*...you didn't really think I was going to tell you that did you???

I was born on a Tuesday.
Sun sign Cancer....I already knew those two.
Life Path number is 9...I don't know what that is but nine is good.
According to the Chinese, I am a monkey :).
According to the Native Americans, I am a woodpecker!
My plant is the Wild Rose.
I was born in the Egyptian month of Paopy, the second month of the season of Poret (Emergence--Fertile soil). I like the fertile part of that...well, as Mel Brooks as the 2000 Year old man says...Back in the days when we were, now I'm still and they're not.
My Hebrew birthday is 20 Tamuz...how come that comes AFTER the Egyptians?
One of the top songs the year I was born was Mairzy Doats my Merry Macs...Sydonia this one is for you.
My birthstone is the Ruby...which is said to open one's heart to love...amore, amore, amore!!!
My birthtree is the Fir tree...no wonder I suffer from Christmas envy.

This was just a little bit of fluffy fun and after all the aggravation of listening to the news a little frivolity isn't bad.

Here is the site. Go check yourself out.

http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp

Shabbat shalom.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

I ACTUALLY LOVED THIS

www.memoriter.net/flash/test.html

Aside from the music which I found wonderfully soothing...the answers I got fit perfectly.

Let me know how you did.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

THREE WISHES

What if you could have three wishes? Any three wishes in the entire world. And they had to be personal ones...selfish, delicious ones :) !

So, forget the world peace/everyone should be healthy/all the kids should get married and have kids of their own/they should get jobs and be independant/and our retirement place should be on a yacht like Explorer of the Seas...ahhhhhhh
http://community.webshots.com/album/233725035OdpOsn

Here are my three wishes:
1.to spend some quality time with family and friends who live here and far away.
2.to have enough money so that I don't ever have to worry about it again.
3.to finish writing my book and see it published.

What brought this all on? The other day a friend wrote that her daughter had just moved into her own flat and she was going out to buy her a housewarming gift.

How lovely, said I, What are you buying her?
A set of tools, she answered.

Dear friends and readers of mine...I can honestly tell you that in my entire life I have not said 'I miss track' ( see an early blog of mine) and I have never asked anyone to buy me tools....diamonds SURE...but tools???

Sydonia sent me a towel that says: If God had wanted me to bend down, He would have put diamonds on the floor! Go Syd!!!

Where was I? Oh, yes! Tools.

Then I realized...Jewish girls don't have tools. We have a butter knife and an old pair of high heeled shoes! Yes Jackie Mason was right.

The butter knife from the fleishedikeh (meat) set of dishes was never used cuz who used butter with meat??? And it is absolutely perfect for screwing in that nasty screw that comes loose.

And the high heels? Sometimes you have to knack a nail in the wall or realign something that has come off kilter.

Anything more industrious than that and I call in a handyman.

Then I married my Israeli husband. Wow! He can fix anything...he can unplug pipes/build walls/re-tile floors and more!

The first time he saw me with my little butter knife he laughed like hell. But it works!!! And whenever I tried hammering a nail into the wall with his fancy-shmancy hammer, that weighs a ton btw, I made a big hole in the wall. Shhhh don't tell, the picture hides it.

Maybe it's a Jewish thing. None of my Jewish girlfriendfriends have tools. And when I asked my non-Jewish sisters they all said 'sure'!

Is that racial profiling? Hey, maybe that's better than taking a picture of my iris' and fingerprinting me at the airport...well, not me cuz I have dual citizenship and they don't do that to Canadians...so far.

We don't have tools and Jews don't camp. We tried it when we were kids and spent a summer in Camp Kahkahpoopoo someplace in the mountains with bugs and and crawly things. So as adults we go to air conditioned hotels.

We also aren't big at sweating in gyms. A nice treadmill a couple of minutes three times a week and then off to the coffee shop for a latte and a danish.

That's a whole other blog.

Back to the wishes. Those are mine for today...what are yours?

Ahhhhh the things that dreams are made of :)))

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

THROW THE JEW DOWN THE WELL

Yesterday, I picked up an old book I had on my shelf. 'Earth's Birth Changes' by St. Germain. Flipping through it, I came across the following passage:

Science and technology was known by the civilizaton of Atlantis. It came to a very similar convergence. However, it did not understand unity. It understood
separation, therefore, it ruined itself. It went forth unto the bottom of the
ocean floors and displayed its brilliance there.

Whoa! The first thing I thought of was our world today. Like a fault in the rift which causes earthquakes, old alliances are crumbling...new powers are emerging...and everyone hates the Jews.

1. Britain? forget it.
2. France? forget it.
3. All the Muslim countries in the universe? forget it.
4. Europe? more and more anti-semetic.

That leaves our oldest and dearest friend, The United States of America. Or does it???

Lately, I keep reading about MoveOn.org. Who even knew about them? Well, good for Caroline Glick, deputy managing editor of the Jerusalem Post who wrote all about them.

Here is a quote from that article.

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice's speech at the American Task Force for Palestine's inaugural dinner in Washington on Wednesday evening was but the
latest sign that America's alliance with Israel is weakening.

Rice's statement that "there could be no greater legacy for America than to help to
bring into being a Palestinian state," just about says it all.

Unfortunately, unless concerted steps are taken by the Israeli government, Israeli citizens and the American Jewish community, the downward trend in relations with the US will only get worse.

Perhaps most upsetting is the central role that a tiny minority of American Jews has played in souring ties between Jerusalem and Washington.

That minority has undermined support for Israel in the Democratic Party and now
seeks to undermine Israel's position in the US in general.

The Democratic Party's sharp turn leftward in recent years has been a major factor
in weakening the US-Israel alliance. The ideological transformation of the party
is the fruit of a collaborative effort by leading financiers, radical-leftist
ideologues and political activists. Together these forces built organizations
that dictate the party's agenda; finance the campaigns of politicians who
embrace this agenda; and work to defeat conservative Republicans and Democrats
who disagree with their agenda.

MoveOn.org is the most influential organization of this type established in recent years. Its principal financiers are American Jewish billionaires George Soros and Peter Lewis.

This summer, MoveOn.org played a central role in Lieberman's
defeat in the Democratic primary for his Senate seat. It contributed funds to
Lieberman's opponent, Ned Lamont, and its Web site served as a clearinghouse
disseminating anti-Lieberman propaganda.

Propaganda posted on the Web site was laced with blatant anti-Semitic attacks. Postings repeatedly referred to Lieberman as "the Jew Lieberman," and "ZioNazi Lieberman." These attacks were by no means unusual. Indeed, anti-Semitic slurs against Israel and Jewish Americans, and belittlements of the Holocaust, appear regularly in MoveOn.org Web forums.

http://www.imra.org.il/story.php3?id=31234
or:
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1159193429114&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

Then this morning I received another email from my dear friend Thunder...I have mentioned her before but don't know how to highlight past articles like some of you do :).

Mary Thunder is a very special Native American whom I am privilged to call friend. http://www.marythunder.com

Thunder forwarded an email sent to her by Steven King...no not that Steven King.

Dear MoveOn member,
If I know anything, I know scary. And giving this president and this out-of-control Congress two more years to screw up our future is downright terrifying. Thankfully, this national nightmare is one we can end with literally a wake up call.

My friends at MoveOn.org Political Action are organizing a big round of national phone parties this weekend before Halloween, Oct. 28th & 29th. We'll be calling progressive folks in key districts who may not turn out unless they get a friendly reminder or two.And since it's almost Halloween, we'll celebrate with an optional costume contest, some pumpkin carving (I'll be making a Jack-Abramoff-O'-Lantern) and of course plenty of candy. ***

***Wikipedia: Jack A. Abramoff
(born February 28, 1958) is
an American political lobbyist,
a political activist and businessman who is a central figure in a series of high-profile political scandals.

Now what the hell do I care about a Halloween phoneathon by some organization, even if it does have a www?

But, I sure as hell am going to keep my eyes on MoveOn and how it's going to affect me and mine and eventually you and yours.

Jack Abramoff O'Lantern?

One last thing...sorry this is a really long post, I know.

I came across a YouTube clip. Man, supposedly a Pakistani was all dressed up as a cowboy and climbed on a stage in what looked like a local bar in some southern American town. Here is his song: Throw the Jew down the well...So my country can be free...Grab the Jew by his horns...And we'll all have a party.

The audience was shocked. But within minutes they were all stomping and a hootenanny was in progress...Throw the Jew down the well???

Jew haters are not new. One of the reasons I moved to Israel was to get away from them.

But JEWS who are Jew haters are unconscionable. And very dangerous. Some day ask me why Pollard is still in jail!!!!!!!

I don't want to display my brilliance at the bottom of the ocean. And unless we find some unity, our separation is going to let EVIL take over the planet. They are growing and soon they will march. And the longer we wait, the more power we give them.

Better to be an Owl than an Ostrich, no?

Have a great day...stay safe...thanks for dropping in.

FRIENDS FOREVER...MAYBE

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night, and since I couldn't sleep, I decided to write a blog. After trying for an hour and still not being able to access blogspot, I went to GoogleHelp and, with a sigh of relief, was thrilled to discover it wasn't my computer after all. It was a Google thing.

Not that I was happy about a Google thing, but hey...better than being a my computer thing.

So, since I was up I called the Guv in Canada. That was the second time I called her yesterday. The first time was to get some information I needed for the book I'm writing, 'Emma Shelby is No More'.

Chick-chak, as we say here, she found the info and emailed it off to me. Then, ten minutes later she phoned me. A daughter of a close friend is sick and needs prayers. So, for any of you out there who could and would, please add Shira bat Pnina to your list. THANKS.

I think it was the third or fourth phone call that night when we started talking about friends and friendships.

Such a precious, delicate thing a friendship is. A kind of marriage between two souls that needs to be cared for and nurtured and trusted.

When I was growing up my Dad AH told me that if I could count three people my friend, I would be lucky. Heck, I answered and began counting off on both hands the people I considered my friend.

Today I have a couple here in Israel and a couple back there over the big water.

You know the kind of friends...you don't hear from them in a while and as soon as you pick up the phone, you continue on as if no time in the world had passed. The kind of friend who sees you naked and still thinks you're perfect. The kind of friend, who when you are in trouble hurts for you and tries to figure out a solution along with you.

I had another friend here in Jerusalem. For over twenty years we were friends. Then, about a year and a half ago, something happened. All of a sudden every time we spoke on the phone she found fault with what I was saying. Every time we met for dinner we ended up sparring verbally.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not a person to take lightly into a confrontation. My Cancer sun backs off and my Leo ascendant pushes forward along with my Pisces moon, that never forgets anything (good or bad) and I don't even need to have the last word for you to know I won.

But, the good thing is that my same Cancer sun and Pisces moon make me back off and avoid that confrontation in the first place. I would rather say I'm sorry, I didn't mean to whatever, than begin the verbal fisticuffs in the first place.

So, I backed off. And backed off. And she advanced. And changed the rules. Now she added rules and if I didn't follow the new rules, then I wasn't a friend. In case you were wondering, yes she's a Virgo!

Like a Weeping Willow Tree, I began to bend and sway with the wind. But, whatever I did, it wasn't good enough. Last month she wrote me an email and informed me that since I am not doing what needs to be done in order to maintain this friendship, that she now understands that I am no longer interested in maintaining it.

Twenty-five years down the toilet.

I have a lot to say. But I have learned that the other side has to be interested in listening before I waste my time and energy.

My friend Rena told me that some place she read that friendships can last for a week, a month, a year, or forever. And sometimes when they have finished their purpose they disappear.

So, to all my friends, both old and new...thanks for being there and for sharing my journey. Bring a sandwich and a diet coke...with God's help, we've got a long way yet to go!

I received a cute email last week. Two pussycats hugging and underneath was written:

You and Me is friends
You smile, I smile
You hurt, I hurt
You cry, I cry
You jump off a bridge
I gonna miss your E-mails!

Shavuah tov.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

OZZIE AND HARRIET

It sounded something like this:

He: Jibber, jibber, jibber ,jibber.
She: Jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber.
LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH!
We would look at each other, smile and say 'Ozzie and Harriet.'

Picture this...Jerusalem 1970. I lived in a fancy flat with my two girlfriends from Detroit. A great flat on HaPalmach Street, exactly across from the Islamic Center. We watched it being built from our mirpesset (porch).

Of course, I should mention that that fancy/shmancy flat cost $200 a month which at the time was a month's salary in Israel and was 56 stairs up!!!

Who cared? We were young. We were in Jerusalem.

We didn't have a television. Few did. But we had a radio. I knew three words in Hebrew at the time...shalom and bli yadayim...Hi and Hands off!

In order to break the silence in the flat we always turned on the radio. It didn't take us long to be able to distinguish between the Hebrew and Arabic channels. Waller, waller, waller, waller was Arabic while Jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber was Hebrew.

We were looking for music to listen to while we learned how to make a sponzhah...a cleaning method dated from the Second Temple involving a squeeghi on a long handle and a shmatteh that never stayed draped over the squeeghi and a pail of soapy water which was supposed to make sure that your floors stayed clean.

First you have to pick up all the furniture, and pile it on the sofa which you then move from place to place as you wash the offending floor. Then, you pour the sudsy water all over the place, shmear it with the shmatteh, dunk in pail and squeeze before moving on to another spot on the floor. Next, dump the shmatteh in the pail of now dirty water. And with the squeeghi acting like a big window wiper, you gather up all the excess water, use the shmatteh to soak it up, and finally, yahooo with a dry shmatteh you go over the floor one last time!

Had to be a man who invented this.

Where I came from, first of all we had a cleaning lady twice a week and second of all we were civilized...wall to wall carpets...and a nice vacuum cleaner which, like a lawn mower, only needed a once-over to be done in that area.

During the course of that first year in Jerusalem, we went to Ulpan and learned Hebrew. Slowly, slowly we were able to understand more and more on the radio. More and more we were able to communicate with our neighbours. And slowly slowly we began making friends.

It was one of those years you savour and tuck away into a special corner of your heart. You know the place...when you think about it you get all warm inside and smile.

That was the first brave year of my life. I left home. Not only left home, but moved half way round the world to Israel, for God's sake!

I was five when we got our first television...yes dear hearts, I am that old. And I was twenty-eight when we got our second one here in Israel.

What a treat! Now we could watch Ozzie and Harriet. The brilliant skits featuring Yossi Banai and Rivka Michaeli, HaGashash HaHiver...Shaykeh Offir, were now enhanced with Mabat, THE NEWS. Two channels...one Israeli and the other Jordanian. Take your pick. Both showed movies. No subtitles. What was Friday night without the Arabic movie?

Since then my Hebrew has gotten pretty good. I read it, I write it, and watch out...I speak it.

And now, that I finally understand everything that they are saying, I can't stand to watch them any more. Our news is pro-Olmert...pro-left. My blood pressure goes up every time Yossi Beilin or Yuli Tamir or Dalia Itzik speak.

Bubbie Channah can't stand Hanan Ashrawi or Sayeb Arakat, who at one time were on nearly as much as Yossi and Yuli.

So, today instead of watching the news, I read it online.
http://www.ynetnews.com
http://www.imra.org.il
http://www.haaretz.com

And CNN Alerts/Israel.

Here is what I just got in my email from CNN:
U.S. to
Israel: Ease up on Arab-Americans10/19/06 07:34 PM, EDT
The State
Department has complained to the Israeli government about its
discriminatory
treatment of Arab-Americans traveling to the Palestinian
territories, senior
State Department officials said Thursday.FULL
STORY http://CNN.com

Can you keep a secret? I am soooooooooo tired of Palestine Pity.

Give me Ozzie and Harriet any day.

Shabbat shalom.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

A GOOD QUESTION

Someone asked me today what makes me happy.
'Lots of things,' I said.
'No, not lots of things. One thing.'

That stopped me. How do you choose?
Then I thought how lucky I am that I have many things that bring me joy.

The sound of my grandchildren's laughter.
The peace of knowing my children are safe in their own beds.
Losing a kilo.
Talking to Bubbie Channah.
Going out to dinner with friends.
Writing my blog.
Reading a good book.
A plate of pecan pie, chocolate cake, butter tarts.
Losing a kilo.
A good story.
A clever joke.
Doing something special for a loved one.
Solving a puzzle.
A bowl of spagetti, a hamburger with french fries and gravy.

Any day that's quiet in Jerusalem.
And losing a kilo.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

NOA UPDATE

Still a mess in India...
1. Noa got to Mombai, Sept.22, 2006.
2. Took her brother's backpack.
3. The brother had just gotten out of the milluim/army reserves.
4. He forgot that he had placed a magazine of pistol bullets in one of the pockets.
5. Noa got caught in Mombai with the bullets.
6. Noa was immediately arrested.
7. Released on bail Sept. 25, 2006.
8. Her mother and uncle flew in...father didn't have a visa.
9. Trial set for Oct.9, 2006.
10. Her Indian lawyer forgot to file some papers.
11. Trial reset for today, Oct.16, 2006.
12. The policeman didn't show up.
13. Trial postponed...no new date...they still have her passport.
14. Noa's mom flew out tonight back to India.

I can't tell you how much the family appreciates all the love and prayers and good wishes. They still hope that all will be well and that Noa will be given back her passport and allowed to come home.


In the meantime, I know your prayers help. Noa bat Chagit.
Here is an article just posted on YNet.

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3315633,00.html

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

FIRE!!!

Once, I read that if you are being attacked in the street, don't yell HELP, yell FIRE!!! People tend isolate themselves. Not my problem. Not going to get involved. Hey, maybe a fight between a husband and a wife...etc.

But, if you yell FIRE the neighbours all come outside to make sure that it isn't going to spread to their house and put them in danger.

As I read this morning that the police are encouraging the attorney general to indict President Katzav for rape all I could think of was...Es brent, briderlekh, es brent. It's burning, brothers, it's burning.

This song was written by Mordechai Gebirtig following a pogrom in the Polish town of Przytyk in 1936. Gebertig was born in Krakow in 1877, and worked as a carpenter while writing songs. In October 1940, he and his family were sent to Lagiewniki, a sub-camp of Auschwitz. He was shot by the Germans on "Bloody Thursday," June 4, 1942. Es Brent was sung in the ghettos and camps, and is one of the most frequently performed songs commemorating the Holocaust.

http://www.hebrewsongs.com/song-esbrent.htm

If he did it, then I'm glad they got him.

I'm just ashamed that he did it, if...

Mein shteteleh brent.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

YAHOOOOOOOOO IT RAINED

When I lived in Canada, I never paid attention to the rain or snow, other than how it affected my daily life. Boots, umbrella, squeeghi thingee to clean off the windows of the car...that kind of stuff.

But, here in Jerusalem, we are very aware of rain. Everyone is careful not to waste water. We have reports on the water level of the Kinneret. Where are we in connection to the RED LINE? Is it too low? Is it getting better? Are we going to be drinking muddy water with tadpoles? Eeuwwww!

One year in order to keep everyone calm, some brilliant announced that they lowered the RED LINE! That's just great, I thought. Like Cinderella's step sisters trying to push their fat toes into her little glass slipper and make it fit. Idiots! Did they think that now I would feel safe about our water situation?

They also decided to try and buy water from Turkey. Now, that's a plan. Instead of spending the money to establish a desalination plant, they would fill boats with Turkish water and shlep them back to...pour into the Kinneret?

Hey! Mister Smart Guy! What happens if, God forbid, Turkey decides to hate us like the other happy neighbours we have in this part of the world? Then what???

Sometimes I think that the people who run this place put their brains in their back pockets and forgetting all about it, sit on them.

During our latest War with Lebanon...locally known as Lebanon Two, oy, the enormity of the situation hit home to me as I watched our fire fighters pouring, God alone knows how many, tons of water into the burning buildings hit by the katyushas.

Water! Look at all that water!

But, there are always miracles in the Holy Land. And this morning, on October 15th, 2006, it poured. Yahooooo, it rained in Jerusalem. Maybe, we will have a great wet year and be able to struggle back up to that famous elastic marker of ours.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

SHUT THE F...UP!

It seems that Barbra Streisand lost her cool in a concert in New York...her first in a long time, when a heckler wasn't happy about her making fun of President Bush. At around $240 a ticket, he wanted to hear her sing and not listen to her political views.

He's right, no?

La Diva looked out into the audience and shouted,
'Shut the f...up!'

Oy!

But!!! and here's the biggie...the audience was so shocked they shut up!!!

Now, I wonder if it will work in other places. Hmmmmm
Mr. President Katzav, sir, did you?
Shut the f...up!

Hey! BinLaden! Come out come out wherever you are!
Shut the f...up!

Nasrallah effendi. We want our kidnapped soldiers NOW!
Shut the f...up!

Olmert...
Shut the f...up!

And just like the magic words...'Pluck your magic twanger, Froggie' for those of you old enough to remember...and 'Hokus Pokus' for those who aren't...all the bad people just shrunk away to nothing.

Shut the f...up! and Iran can't have the bomb.
Shut the f...up! and Muslim women can come out into the sun.
Shut the f...up! and we get the oil and they get the sand.

Ahhhhh, the things that dreams are made of.

Barbra, metukah (sweetie), I don't care if you sleep with Bush or Clinton or anyone else for that matter. It's not my business. If I want to hear about politics I can read my paper, watch TV, or go read the bloggers!

I know you said you were sorry.
So did Mel Gibson.

Four words and you turned a golden idol into a thing of brass. It's one thing if you walk out of the house wearing dirty underwear, and only you know. But another altogether if, God forbid, you are in an accident and all those doctor people see. (Didn't your Bubbie tell you that when you were growing up?)

My Dad,AH always said that a person is born naked and dies naked...all he has left is his good name.

Feh, Barbra, feh. And I thought you were a classy broad. Now we know.

Shabbat shalom...have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

SCARED BY A ROPE

I think the expression is...'Once you've been bitten by a snake, you get scared by a rope.'

That's how I felt last night when my daughter called me and said, 'Imma are you watching the news?'

My heart fell. Now what, I thought, and turned on the tv. There it was. Another burning building in New York!

And we watched, and we waited, and we listened. 'Not a terrorist attack,' they said. So, what was it? A mistake? Just like that a plane flies into a building? Are they nuts?!?

But that's what it was.

How often has something from our past triggered fear today? An unexpected notice from the post office that you have a registered letter, for example. Now, what could that be? Hmmmm.

Or, a sonic boom. Or the sound of an ambulance. After the intifada any loud noise stops me and I wait and listen. Or I wait to hear if there are more ambulances flying behind that first one.

When my brother was here visiting us last year, he couldn't understand why every time there was an ambulance we stopped and waited. See, that wasn't part of his memory bank. That sound didn't trigger any personal fear for him.

Yesterday when I watched that building it opened wounds that I've been working hard to close. You too, I'm sure.

Damn them!

Not for opening wounds...but for making them in the first place. Damn them!!!

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

UPDATE ON NOA

Just a quick review first.
Noa is my neighbour's daughter and sister to my youngest son's best friend since they were two. Noa went to India for a couple of weeks vacation on Friday, September 22, 2006. She borrowed her brother's backpack. The brother just got out of milluim, army reserves, and unknown to anyone had placed a magazine of bullets (16) for his army pistol inside and forgotten all about it. When Noa landed in Mombai she was arrested for having the bullets...a bit-time offence over there.

Noa was arrested and a few days later released on bail while she waits her trial! They kept her passport. She was allowed to travel inside the country and had to show up yesterday for the trial.

There was a balagan, mixup, over some paperwork...I think caused by her own lawyer and the trial was postponed. Now the date is this coming Monday.

Needless to say everyone is a nervous wreck. Her family is back in Israel and had hoped that yesterday the entire nightmare would be over and their prayers would be answered and Noa would be home.

So, for now, Noa, her family, and all their friends are waiting. And praying. And hoping that this will have a happy ending.

I'm not good at waiting. I failed waiting. I don't know how they're doing it.
My prayers are with Noa bat Chagit and all her family.

Thanks for all your emails and phone calls. The family really appreciates all your caring and concern.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

HALF FULL

David, my mentor ( my writing group, every other Tuesday, for the past two years) and friend, shared something with me that he had learned from his own Father, AH, a little while ago that keeps playing over and over in my mind.

'You never know what bad things are good for.'

Wow, I thought. 'You never know what bad things are good for. Hmmmmm'

I never thought of that before. Now, for those of you who know me, you know that, by nature, I'm an optimist. I always try to see the glass half full and am grateful for what I have. Not always easy to do, but I try.

I hated closing down my learning center last year. I hated it. For fourteen years Shar Patuach helped children in the Jerusalem area stay in school and get the grades they thought they deserved. Wonderful, great kids who happened to be learning disabled, ADD/ADHD, dyslexic, dysgraphic...my kids. And we helped hundreds of kids.

But then the intifada erupted. And the busses were blowing us all up. And business after business failed.

With a lot of help from a lot of wonderful people we struggled and kept our doors open. One more year, another year, a third year... until we didn't have enough children registered to carry on.

Took me months to heal. And then I was approached to help another new business working with L.D. kids. I thought about it for about a month and a half and then said, 'Why not?'

So for the past seven months I worked and worked and worked...many more hours than my job description called for. And along the way I got lost. The old grey mare she ain't what she used to be. After eleven hour days, I simply pooped out.

Three weeks ago they decided to close the Jerusalem branch. Fired! Out of work! No more job!

I panicked! Now what?

That lasted about a minute and a half. Thank you God! I have my life back! I'm off the tread mill. I jumped off the merry-go-round. Yahoooooooooooo.

And best of all, I am back writing my novel. I'm almost finished, you see. I have nearly four hundred pages written and didn't have enough emotional quiet time (thank you John for that expression) to finish it. 'Emma Shelby is No More' is the novel. I'll tell you more about it another time.

Today when I read my Tanach...lately I have added Tanach to my morning tehilim (psalms) and perek shira (don't ask, crickets and stuff talking to G0d, supposed to be really heavy stuff)...

Where was I? Oh, yes Tanach. Nu, today I read about Joseph in Egypt. And his brothers come looking to buy corn. You know the story. Well, Joseph realizes that his brothers didn't sell him into slavery, but that God planned the whole thing so that he would be in a position to save his family and Israel.

Whoa! You never know what bad things are good for!

But, then I had to ask myself. Couldn't God have arranged the whole thing so that the prison thing and the slavery thing were omitted?

I guess not. God works in mysterious ways. Don't you, God?

So, with North Korea setting off a five hundred ton atomic bomb; and Syria getting ready to attack Israel as a smoke screen so that Iran can finish getting it's bomb; and our President maybe going to jail; and the three stooges are still managing to hold on to their jobs...I hope David's Father AH was right.

You never know what bad things are good for.

p.s. I now have four students...fewer hours/more money. Thank you, God.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Yesterday, I went for brunch in the shuk with my friend Rena and Bubbie Channah. We love the shuk...the smells, the people...everything. Maybe one day I'll write a blog about Macheneh Yehudah. Remind me. :)

After lunch, I went to visit one of the women from my writing class. Lovely lady, and anytime we are together is delicious.

The reason I am mentioning all this is that to get from her house to mine, I have to take the number twenty-one bus...door to door. Nice that I don't have to switch busses, but since she lives at one end of the city and I live at the other, that same bus trip takes at least an hour!

At three minutes after four, I boarded the bus at her house, and by five, I was back in my own neighbourhood.

The bus was rather empty when I got on and I noticed towards the front there was a single seat on the left hand side. There are only a few single seats on the busses and if you are lucky to find one then you don't have to get up and down and be pushed into the window by the happy passenger who chooses you for a seat mate.

Back to the bus. In front of me a man was sitting in another single-seater and facing him was an empty two-seater. He was a skinny man wearing a purple baseball cap over close cropped salt and pepper hair.

The reason I noticed all this was because, shortly after I sat down, the man began to talk out loud. At first, I thought he was talking into a cell phone. Nope. He was talking to the world.

My first reaction was embarrassment...poor fellow must have lost his mind. Happens, no? He talked about everything and anything we passed by in the bus. I noticed the look on the other passengers' faces and they matched mine. We all tried really hard not to stare at him. We all shook our heads as if to say 'poor fellow' and we all sat silently.

The truth was I was a little afraid of the 'crazy' man in front. Off with the cap/on with the cap...cough cough...talk talk.

My imagination soared. Who is he? He looked like an Arab...or could easily have been a Jew from an Arab country...Iraq/Iran/Egypt/Tunis...Maybe he's drunk or on drugs!

We continued along until finally we got to the center of town. Good, I thought, maybe he'll get off here. Instead, a young girl with a baby got on and sat down facing him. Oh, no! I thought, but what could I do? Before I could think of anything, another woman got on and she too was holding a baby. She sat down next to the other mother.

Little sweet babies. Both were about a year old.

The bus took off. The man renewed his conversation with the Canterbury Ghost and the two women held their babies closer.

Then, suddenly the two babies began talking to the man! Giggling and reaching out to him, they thought he was talking to them!

He stopped and began waving and talking and nodding his head to the two little babies. They laughed. The people in the bus smiled.

After a few more stops the man got off.

See, the babies knew. He wasn't a scary old man after all. He was just talking to himself until he found someone better to talk to.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

GREEN EGGS AND BRISKET

You know that old expression, 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it'? Well, over the years I have tried to live by that theory.

It seems, however, that advertisers need new products all the time to jump start their sales. Over the years my diet coke was improved. Feh! And when the companies realized that the new one was not loved and adored by flocks of buyers, they wisely gave us back our old version.

But just in case they gave us decaf coke...that's ok, and lemon coke, that's ok too.

Back in the days when I smoked...yes dear readers, I smoked. Then on October 4, 1994 I stopped. Just like that, I stopped. Gained a gazillion pounds (only half a gazillion kilos) and my doctor, bless him, said, 'Marallyn, don't worry about your weight, just don't smoke.' And I, immediately said, 'Doctor, will you put that in writing so I can give it to Bubbie Channah?'

Well, they upgraded my brand of cigarettes and the new and improved version was so awful that I switched brands.

And how about when they do that to our washing machine powder? Kinda makes you wonder why you were using the old 'notsogood' version all those years. And wasn't it them who kept advertising that this was the best product on the market? Oh, oh!

Why am I writing you all this, this morning? Thanks for asking.

Last week, my youngest went up north on a tiul (trip) from his work. And they had a wonderful day. They went dune buggy riding...or whatever it is you do on a dune buggy. And ate in great places. And a wonderful time was had by all.

He brought home four little jars of honey from the honey place, Dvorat Hatavor (דבורת התבור).

'That's nice honey, I mean dear. But we have all this honey your Abba brought home for Rosh HaShanah.'
'Yah, but Imma. Check this stuff out.'

One jar is kinda brown. One jar is bright green. Another is bright orange. And the last one is bright blue!

Now, to tell you the truth, the brown one is delicious...honey and cocoa. So far I haven't opened the green, orange, or blue ones.

'How did they do that?' I asked when I really wanted to ask 'Why did they do that?'
'I don't know exactly, but it's real honey. The colour comes from the plants the bees are eating. No food colouring or anything has been added.'
'Really!' I said as I held the green jar up to the light.
'And Israel is the only place in the world that makes coloured honey.'

Wow, I told my kid as I envisioned the poor millions of honey lovers all over the world who have to be satisfied with the old regular amber stuff.

Israel is a remarkable place. And we have invented stuff that has made the world a much better and healthier place. So, maybe they know what they're doing.

Now I have emerald honey, sapphire honey and coral honey. Pretty fancy/shmancy don't you think?

Next I have to figure out how to shmear this stuff on a shtickle challeh and try to ignore the emerald, shapphire, and coral colour and simply enjoy the old fashioned flavour of the wonderful stuff. Ambrosia has now gone psychodelic.

When I told Bubbie Channah, she asked, 'Is it good or bad for the Jews?'
:)))

Shavuah tov...a good week.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

TEN WAYS TO ELIMINATE GOSSIP, G-D HELP ME

First of all, once again a sweet Chag Sameach as we prepare to begin the holiday of Sukkot. Finally, a holiday of joy. You all know the old joke:
How can you sum up the history of the Jews in ten words or less?
They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

From aish.com by Rabbi Kalman Packouz
http://www.aish.com/torahportion/shalomweekly/Sukkot_5767.asp

Well, as stated in today's article by the good Rabbi, "A large percentage of the AL CHAITS- the transgressions listed in the Yom Kippur Prayer book for which we ask forgiveness - deal with speech."

Bubbie Channah told me that I began speaking full sentences at nine months old and from then on the moment I opened my eyes I opened my mouth.
My younger brother, Dovidle says that's why he didn't start talking until he was 2 1/2!

So I've got to figure that this 'speech' business isn't going to be easy.

Here are the Rabbi's TEN PATHWAYS TO ELIMINATE GOSSIP (my thoughts are in blue, :))

(1) Speak No Evil. Say only positive statements. Let words of kindness be on your tongue. This means to respond instead of react. Edit your speech before you speak. I can do that. Bubbie Channah taught us that if you don't have anything nice to say about a person, then don't say anything at all. Like when you see a girlfriend who is wearing a dress you wouldn't put on a dog, you can say "Minnie! What a dress! In my whole life, I never saw a dress like that." See...okay, I got past (1).

(2) Hear No Evil. Refuse to listen to gossip, slander and other negative forms of speech. If you're on a diet, don't bring the cake and cookies into the house. I don't know what the cake and cookies have to do with this one. If you're ending gossip, try and keep away from conversations that may tempt you to listen or chime in. If avoiding the conversation is impossible, have another topic of "positive" interest you can quickly bring up in order to change the subject. I have a friend like that. No one invites him for dinner anymore.

(3) Don't Rationalize Destructive Speech. Excuses like "But it's true" or "I'm only joking" or "I can tell my spouse anything" just don't cut it. Gossip is gossip. The fact that it is true is what qualifies it as gossip. If it were not true, it would be libel or slander, depending upon the medium. I'm afraid I'm guilty of this one too. My feeling is that the truth is the truth. Either live with it or change it. Oh, oh, am I in trouble now?

(4) See No Evil. Judge people favorably, the way you would want them to judge you. If you've ever been accused of doing something for which you know you were innocent, then you know how it feels to be misjudged. Remember, if you weren't there, you don't know. Even if you were there, you may have missed the context of what actually happened. I try. G-d knows, I try.

(5) Beware of Speaking Evil Without Saying An Evil Word. Body language, and even positive speech can bring tremendous destruction. My daughter is the expert on 'the look', bless her. I taught her well. Since she was a baby she could melt stone with that look.

(6) Be Humble. Avoid Arrogance. These will be your greatest weapons against destructive speech. Take pleasure in your accomplishments, not pride. This way you recognize the Ultimate Source of your accomplishments. Those who are arrogant are so full of themselves, that there is no room for God in their lives. I'm humble...and...nope better stop while I'm ahead.

(7) Beware Of Repeating Information. Even positive information needs permission before being repeated. Telling someone who's out of a job that your mutual friend got a raise, does not constitute proper speech. On this one they are right. Even if this person is a terrible person and you have waited years to give them a zetz...not worth it. Does what you think count too?

(8) Honesty Really Is The Best Policy - Most of the Time. Be careful to always tell the truth unless it will hurt others, break your own privacy or publicize your accomplishments. Strive for honesty in everything you do. If it's between honesty and unnecessarily hurting another's feelings, it's better not to be so truthful. Those who boast about being "brutally honest" are usually more brutal than honest. My Dad, AH always told me that. He said, "Marallyn, remember for every finger you are pointing at someone, you have three more pointing back at you." And, he also told me that if I was going to steal anything, I might as well steal big, since I would end up in jail anyhow. I miss my Dad. And this one should be linked with number (1) and Minnie's chaloshess dress.

(9) Learn to Say, "I'm Sorry." Everyone makes mistakes. If you've spoken badly about someone, clear it up immediately. It might be embarrassing, but get it over with quickly. Apologize, ask for forgiveness, and let him or her know it won't happen again. I agree. And I do. Now as for the 'won't happen again' part, I do my best.

(10) Forgive. If you have been wronged, let it go. Forgive for your sake, if not for theirs. Those who can forgive live healthier, happier, and less stressful lives. Those who say they'll forgive but not forget are actually saying that they'll neither forgive nor forget. I failed (10). This one isn't so easy. Then oodles of years ago, when I began my journey as an Astrologer, I learned that we reincarnate with three types of people. The first one are people who we share lifetimes with simply because life wouldn't be the same without them. You know them, they are the people you meet and instantly like. The second group are people who have hurt you in the past and are here to fix the wrong they have done you. And the final group are people you wronged in the past and you are here to fix that wrong. The truth is that after learning that, I did forgive a bunch of people. I sure don't want to meet them again next time around. But, honestly...there are one or two who...nope I'm not going to say it. My lips are sealed.

I have had fun with this post, but the truth is that I always try really hard not to hurt anyone. And if I do, it's not on purpose. Except sometimes... :)

Have a sweet holiday. Eat something fattening for me too. I give you permission, don't think twice...wait, wait...if you're on a diet DON'T DO IT!!!

OY!

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

ARAFAT, Y'MACH SHEMO

I was going to write a blog today about the green and blue jars of honey that my kid brought back from his tiul (trip) up north, but then I got the following email. Are you ready?

from: imra@netvision.net.il

Shmulik Hadad YNET Published: 10.05.06, 01:47

Sderot: Israelis leave, Palestinians arrive.

Security threat causes many residents of the city to leave. Lowered costs lead many families of Palestinians
cooperating with Israeli government to buy or rent
vacated homes.

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/o,7340,L-3311279,00.html

So natch, I went and read the article. Are we nuts? Let's organize ourselves for a second.
1. they keep firing Qassam rocket into Sderot
2. no one does anything about it
3. the people get scared and moved out
4. their homes remained empty
5. HERE'S THE BIGGIE!!! AND I QUOTE "The falling property values allowed many families of Palestinian cooperating with the Israeli government and defense forces to buy homes, even mansions, in the more targeted areas of the city."

Ah! I get it. This is part of Arafat"s plan... y'mach shemo (may his name be erased). Arafat said that the Arabs would win because of two reasons...their patience and their wombs.

So, if they don't kill us outright, they will wait till we leave and move in. Is that the plan?
Now, don't get me wrong. I sure as heck don't blame the poor residents of Sderot for running scared. I mean, I lived in Jerusalem during the intifada when we were being blown up all the time. I know how scary that is. I didn't think of packing up my family and moving to Florida or even Eilat, but who am I to throw stones at anyone else?

What I'm hysterical about is that our government and/or the army thinks this is a plan.
ARE THEY NUTS? ARE ALL THE INMATES OUT OF THE CUCKOO'S NEST AND NOW SITTING IN THE KNESSET?

If any of you can explain this to me, I'll be more than happy to listen. In the meantime I'm going to make myself a cup of coffee and a nice slice of diet bread with green honey.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

KESSEM, YOU'VE GOT MY VOTE!!!

After watching the Jay Leno Show last night, I finally found our new Prime Minister...Earvin 'Magic' Johnson!

Don't laugh. He would be perfect. He's big...he's smart...he's rich...and like Merlin, the Magician, he's MAGIC!!!

And between you and me, we could use a little magic these days.

So how come, I'm voting for the big guy? Cuz he makes sense. He was part of the Dream Team. And why were they so successful? Because they didn't care who scored the points as long as their team won. They didn’t stop at giving one hundred per cent. No, for the good of the team they gave one hundred and fifty per cent.

Our guys haven’t had a winning season since 1966. After that summer we began to forget who we are and where we are and began to believe all the hype the press was spewing out.

And the more our team lost, the less the fans came out to root them on. Until no one showed up. And anyone could be on the team.

But the opposite team learned the lesson. And they began giving one hundred and fifty per cent. And they all started working for the good of the team.

Oh, sure, some old die-hards kept waving the old banners and spouting the rhetoric, but the young guys laughed them down. And booed them. And called them names…occupiers…settlers….and horror of all horrors – religious!

I can’t only blame our government leaders. They also had help from the fine-shmekkers…Peace Now…The Women in Black…Shimon Peres….Yossi Beilin…and a handful of ‘intellectuals’…

So, Mister Intellectual, here’s a question for you.
Let’s say I love you. Boy oh boy, do I love you. I love you so much that I’m willing to give you everything. All you have to do is marry me.
But, you don’t love me.
You don’t love me?
But, I’ll give you everything.
Will you love me, if I give you everything?

Bubbie Channah taught me that if he doesn’t love me, he doesn’t love me. And doesn’t deserve to have me. But, some place just around the corner, is a nice fella who will be crazy mad for me and is just waiting for me to show up.

The sons of Ishmael don’t love us. Period.
Arafat said: ‘We will win because of two things…ONE our patience, and TWO our wombs. '

Mister Intellectual? What is it about that sentence that you don’t understand?

I just read this week that in about twenty years there will be enough Muslims in the United States to elect the president!!!

Magic got AIDS and went on television…told the truth…and gained the respect of everyone he knew, including his family.

‘I did it. I’m sorry. I’m leaving.’

Our President may be innocent. I certainly don’t know. But, it seems to me there’s a little too much smoke singeing his privates.

The Three Stooges may be innocent too. I don’t know. But too many people died and were wounded for nothing. No, worse than nothing. We exposed our soft underbelly and laid the groundwork for the next invasion. And the enemy has the ball and is running with it.

Olmert…Nero fiddled while Rome burned! You remind me of Mel Brooks and the 2,000 year old man.

Carl Reiner (CR) asked: ‘Did you know Robin Hood?’
Mel Brooks (MB) answered: ‘Lovely man. Ran around the forest.
CR: ‘Is it true he took from the rich and gave to the poor?’
MB: ‘Nah! He took from everybody and kept everything.’
CR: ‘But history says…’
MB:‘History! He had a Press Agent. Marty. Marty the Press Agent. He took from the rich and gave to the poor. He gave you such a knack on the head when he robbed you, who knew?’

Enough with the press agent Mister Prime Minister.

All I know, and what do I know…is that we went into a war to get back our three soldiers. We let the entire northern part of our country get destroyed. One hundred and sixteen people were killed and I don’t know how many wounded.

FOR WHAT?

Today I read online that we offered the enemy between 900 and 1000 terrorists in exchange for Gilad Shalit AND THEY TURNED US DOWN. And no one knows anything about Ehud Goldwasser and Eldad Regev. May they be well and come home to their families soon.

You hear the music, Mister Prime Minister? I don’t think it’s playing Fiddler on the Roof.

Magic is a nice name…in Hebrew it is Kessem. Has a nice ring to it no?

I wonder if he’s Jewish. Earvin...that's a Jewish name, no?

Have a great day…stay safe…thanks for dropping in.

STOLEN ahem I MEAN BORROWED FROM JACK

First of all, we are now on daylight savings and I don't know how to change my clock!!! So be a sport...subtract an hour. When it's right again I'll let you know. TX

A few days ago I went to check up on a new blogger friend of mine Jack's Shack...go visit when you have a moment, you won't be sorry: http://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/

And he said that everyone should have their own song. He listed five for himself.

And I thought: "WHOA, I CAN DO THAT!"

Ha! Spent hours thinking of songs. Got it down to the following:

1.I'm Still Standing...Elton John;
2.Aquarius/Let the Sun Shine In...The 5th Dimension;
3. Zorba the Greek...anyone;
4.Sunrise/Sunset,Fiddler on the Roof;
5. Splish Splash I was Having a Flash...i mean Taking a Bath

Somewhere in there are Yerushalayim Shel Zahav...Jerusalem of Gold...Naomi Shemer; California Dreaming...Mamas and Papas; Those Were the Days...Mary Hopkins; Mairzy Doats...The Pied Pipers; Chantilly Lace...The Big Bopper...AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON...
Theme Song from Exodus...

Songs. How quickly just a few notes and bars transport you back to some place in time where you were happy or sad in love or trying to mend a broken heart. But like a trusty old friend they stay with you for as long as you can remember them.

When I moved to Israel, there wasn't much I could take with me besides memories. Thus the list I have written above is from 'the good old days'.

OK. Your turn. What's your list of five?

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.

JUST ANOTHER CHICKEN STORY

The chicken is roasting with the lovely vegetables in the oven...the rice is ready...the stuffed zuccini boats smell gorgeous...the salads need making...the cakes are done...and I have a window of time to write and wish you once again a sweet new year and an easy fast.

One of the traditions of Yom Kippur is kaparot.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaparot

Kapparos or Kaparot (Hebrew: כפרות) is a traditional Jewish religious ritual that
takes place around the time of the High Holidays.
Classically, it is performed by swinging a live chicken around one's head three
times, symbolically transferring one's sins to the chicken. The chicken is then slaughtered and donated to the poor, to be eaten at the pre-Yom Kippur feast.[1]
In modern times, Kapparos is performed in the traditional form mostly in Haredi communities. Members of other communities tend to perform this ritual with charity money substituted for the chicken, swung over one's head in similar fashion.
As the chicken (or money) is swung about the head, the following paragraph is traditionally
recited:
This is my exchange, this is my substitute, this is my atonement.
(This rooster will go to its death / This money will go to charity), while I
will enter and proceed to a good long life and to peace.[2]

Rosh HaShanah 1972. I was married ten months. I was almost seven months pregnant. My mother-in-law called me over to her house. No phones at the time. My mother-in-law had the one television set and Yossi the Butcher's mother had the one phone in the neighbourhood. So when my husband came home that night he told me that his mother wanted to see me in the morning.

'Merilly (that was as close as she ever got to getting my name right), tomorrow what are you doing?'
'Nothing, Imma. Why?'
'We have to make kaparot.'
'We do?'
'Yes.'
'What exactly are we going to have to do?'
'Don't worry. Just be here at seven o'clock tomorrow morning.'

No one messed with Savta (Grandma). So at seven the next morning my husband walked me over ( we lived around the corner and up the street in Macheneh Yehudah at the time) and he went off to work.

And for the next eight hours we plucked chickens! Eleven of them!
Now, as my time is limited today, I have to give you the shortened version.

Question number one...when was the last time you touched a dead chicken?
Question number two...with the head still on?
Question number three...with all the insides still inside?

See, where I came from you either went to the nice butcher or the grocery store and there, all gutted and plucked, were any number of chickens who had given up their lives for the good of the cause.

In America, we were walking on the moon, for G-d's sake! In Macheneh Yehuda we were plucking chickens!

A few years have passed since that day.

As we worked, I watched my mother-in-law separating the feathers into different bags. By nightfall she turned to me and said:

'Merilly, I want you to have a remember from this day.'
'A remember?'
'Yes. You worked very hard and I have decided to make you a nice pillow from all the soft feathers we collected today.'

As I sit here writing from my little mirpesset (porch) off my bedroom, I can see my bed and that very same pillow.

I have made many things in my life. But one of the things I am most proud of is that pillow.

Savta was right. Sometimes you simply need a 'remember'.

G'mar hatima tova. A sweet new year and easy fast.

Have a great day...stay safe...and thanks for dropping in.